01/09/2010

The Real Estate


Hello blog, you might remember me as this blog.

I intend to get spirally and excessive and euphuistic about Chinese things just as soon as I find somewhere t' FUCKEN LIVE in this, our Silver Toon. It's a grinding task; I resent it precluding my standing still, its mean inevitability.





Meantimes, here's some of the property jargon that daily worms its styleless, corrupt way into me.

---"The property benefits from..."
= nasty way of predicating.


---"Superb house
" = I really do not know.


---"the very popular Rosemount area" = "we have managed to crunch the population density up to 2000 people per km2."

---"secluded" = "far away"

---"generous room"
= just what you deserve, no less, you oik

---"within easy access of Altens and Portlethen industrial estates" = disused warehouse.

---"ample"
= see "generous"

---"terraced villa in the exclusive Denmore estate"
= ???

---"20 minutes walk to a bus stop"
= ...

---"in good order throughout"
= ...

---"many appealing features"
= Could be anything; Wittgensteinian simples ("height"; "redness"), for example.

---"a unique property" =
architect found dead in foundations. Old Ones implicated.

---"spacious throughout"
= the interior's bulk modulus ("corridors") are successful in creating a region of epiconstant spatialized matter ("floorspace"). The property benefits from existence.

---"deceptively spacious"
= Your thoughts are too large for it; you'll get used to it.

---"truly spacious" = utterly meaningless. just nothing.




Gumtree saves, scythes through bullshit:
"Note stains on the rug + walls but its nothing to worry about 'cos it doesn't make a mess of the appartment."



So. The best that we have to say for many of our structures is that they are "accessible". Doesn't mean it's anything I want to access.

*************************************************************************

In other good news, Google recently overcome Greek competitor Logic as the world's most popular system of rationality:

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Tell us another:

Study of Blondie's "Picture This" confirms that which has long been suspected: Debbie Harry's empirical idealism:

"All I want is 20/20 vision,
A total portrait with no omissions
."



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