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Showing posts from March, 2013

notes from Kamachumu in Kagera in Tanzania in Africa

' Despite it all, we still like you. ' – Abraham, on Tanzanians' general attitude toward white people. ****************************************************************** "Hello supervisor, can we have the vital operating budget we were allocated?" "Hello! No; it's not here." "Oh no! That sucks. Can I just pay it for them, then?" "Heavens no! That would breed aid dependency." "Oh. Well, maybe. Can I lend it to them until the budget comes through?" "Heavens no! That would breach the equality of volunteers! We have planned under the assumption that volunteers have no no money." "But that assumption isn't true - look, here's my lunch money." "Yes. So?" "... ... ...So in fact we're playing a game here? A game, with these people's lives: SimVSO. This whole strand of the project is to be undone over £4 of printing costs?" "Welcome to th

CULTURAL MACHETE

Mzungu What goes through you When you call me my race? Not malice I know Not avarice mostly Not even always predication – leaving what? “Mzungu!” sound of joy of novelty “Mzungu!” lay your voice on the rich world “Mzungu!” need to be seen by The Mzungu, distant source on earth of stuff. I do not hear any of that (pallards as thin-skinned as pale) I grimace at you, fight indifference and fear walk on. some colours some houses empty shambles, sweat all round, laborious housekeep, and smoke all round, some everythings shoddy, and dust all round, women, no cattle, and illness all round - but flowers are flowers clean bright and equal. Some colours glow against backgrounds darkly. Some colours are freeing, lift burdens. Some colours bless  an efficacious blessing, for once.     the kabootar in flight What lasts? - not harmless cheek (the hidden key to grand toilets), by definition - good education (1000 kids given an inkling)

why it?

Just fun and fertilisation? No: we come and we go and so on: I wanted to do it to say I had done it I wanted to try something new I wanted him to like me I wanted him to shut up about it I wanted to feel good about myself I wanted her to feel good about herself I wanted to let off steam I just wanted him, alright. so hot. It was New Year's. I wanted to get back at my husband I wanted to say thank you I needed the money I needed the job I wanted the guys to respect me I wanted some of her glamour to rub off I was bored I wanted the exercise I did not feel safe to say no. I wanted them because they wanted me I wanted her; she's so smart I wanted to say I'd missed him I wanted her; she's so funny I wanted to feel powerful I wanted to feel power I wanted to improve I wanted to be ready for my real first time It had been a while. I wanted to humiliate someone I wanted to punish myself I did it for a bet I was forced to do it